Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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