Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
