OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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