Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
