You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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