Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
