Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just come out here and I will go home with you...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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