i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
