we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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