If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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