Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
