let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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