does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
