butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
