hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
