So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
