Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
