Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
