looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
