just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
