I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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