so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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