The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize