We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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