i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
