What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
