This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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