thus making me awesome and them whores
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
