cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize