Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
