Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
they need to just BURY HIM!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
