One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
