I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
