ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
