she was so not down for the gang bang
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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