There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
