we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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