party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
