I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
