I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
