I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
