Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
