you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
