YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
