you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
