Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
