no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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