Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
