K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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