Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
