fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I've blown a few things in my day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
