Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
