Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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