lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
