How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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