Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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