You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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