it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
